WHY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THE CHURCH?

A recent survey reveals that 40 to 50 per cent of young people who join the church in their mid teens will drop out out of the church by the time they are halfway through their 20s.

But, the report titled: "Why Our Teenagers Leave the Church: Personal Stories From a 10-Year Study" points out that young people are seeking sincerity, genuineness, and intelligent meaning of their lives; meaning that makes a practical difference in their day-to-day affairs." Young people "are desperately seeking love, acceptance, and spiritual depth, yet many are disappointed with the spiritual resources they have been offered."

The report says that most aren't leaving the church because of a dispute with a doctrine. Rather, "members act like they love the Lord when in reality they don't." "People react to others and try to portray themselves as what they are not." "They taught us one way and in so many cases did not abide by their own teaching."

A major theme shared by the church dropouts was that they feel unaccepted by their churches. Many described their churches as very "cold," "aloof," and "unfriendly" places.

"The sad thing is that a number of these young adults, at the times when they were vulnerable and seeking for love, acceptance, and grace, they were sobered by rejection," reads the report.

One youth who joined the church at a time when he was unsure of himself and what direction he wanted to take for his life, says that the church were he was a member didn't feel right. "The people were very cold and aloof - not just toward other members but towards guests as well."

Others who were interviewed based their perceptions of acceptance on whether they felt needed or valued. A young woman narrates : "I've never dropped out, because a few older people always made sure that I was involved while I was young (teen). I got used to that and had fun, so I stayed even though I thought leaving."

Avast majority of those who dropped out responded that they didn't think their church made a difference in their lives. They perceived the church as clueless to their generation's needs. "Nothing for my age," "lack of activities for young adult,"and "boring" are representative comments.

Many respondents felt their church was irrelevant to their social needs. They felt "cut off," "lonely," and "estranged" because of lack peers their own age in church. Several answered they didn't attend because they "didn't have anyone to go to church with."

Most youth find friendship wanting in their churches. Jim says, "lack of interest by myself. Lack of attention by the church to me. I felt the church offered nothing to me personally."

"There overall responses expressed a deep spiritual hunger to know God and the heart of Christianity in order to have practical answers for everyday issues they faced in life," the report reads.

Jemimah one of the youths who felt bored with the church says: "I got tired of sitting through sermons that I had heard hundreds times. There is so much I want to know about God, but I never find any of it out at church." Kerubo agreed: "The sermons were too shallow, and I wasn't getting any deep food. I've been in the church all my life and know most of the 'superficial stuff.'"

Tom, expressed frustration with the church's focus on rules instead of spirituality: "I believe that the church concentrates too much on rules and what a person should not do rather than on the person's spiritual life."

A common theme among many of the church dropouts involves a sensitivity to and a distaste for the intolerant attitudes they perceive in the church. The reason for their disgust with this image appears to come from their desire for a focus on the heart of Christianity - relationships and action. They believe deep down in the truth but are cynical at the lack of demonstration."There was no love. It was all talk," says Kariuki.

From the perception of the church failing to demonstrate love in action but sensing instead "extreme legalism and lack of tolerance for different personalities and beliefs - many youths are disillusioned and angry."

"The idea of church being a place for sinners to come is a fantasy. Judgment is passed on you if you are perceived to be a sinner. The church is too worried about watching each other instead of God," Kariuki adds.

"Too many people were criticizing others but never themselves," says one of the discouraged youths, "I was greatly discouraged with the people and how supposed Christians' could be rude, unaccepting, and cruel."

Another issue that surfaced from the research portrays a generation that leads an extremely busy and fast - paced lives. "I'm working 13- hour night shifts," one youth says, "I couldn't stay awake during the services when I worked on Friday nights at the hospital. I missed church as a result of waking up early with depression and become isolated and discouraged."

From the research several young people said that they were rejected and asked to leave the church because of premarital pregnancy. Thus they lack the confidence of returning. Yes, some expressed that they were still in a stage of rebellion and experimentation because of the strictness of their upbringing. Indeed, “some admitted that they had a lot of questions about beliefs.”

“These young adults want the church to be their friend. They seek relevance in the heart realm of warmth and acceptance. They crave a church that takes a personal interest in them and their well being,”the lead researcher, Dr. Roger Dudley, says, adding:

"Young adults don't seem to be looking for an individualistic worship experience but one of genuine, involved fellowship. The dropouts are shouting that they want a church that makes a demonstrated impact in the world - a church that focus not on judging or condemning but rather on service, healing, and redemption."