Rahm, Dhin, Tyan and Vhimy are senior undergraduate university student in our local universities. Although they are from different universities, raised in different
background, and pursuing different degree programs they share one thing in common: frustrated by college relationships.
“My mother candidly advised me against rushing into relationships,” Rahm says, “but no sooner than I settled down for my studies I felt to be the black sheep among my peers; I joined the bandwagon without much reflection. I felt it was university lifestyle!” But now she is caught between a rock and a hard place – she is drowning in regrets and uncertain future that is so bleak. She has found herself in a chain of regrettable relationships, which commence as an ultimate destination of love only to finish worse than the earlier one. She confesses to have aborted twice and she has often found her self contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) that have punched her healthy. Stress coupled with frustrations has robbed her humble moments to concentrate in her studies. “I feel that my academic dream is shuttered,” Rahm contemplates.
Dhin is one of those ladies who have gone through crucibles which she admits have made her wise in making decisions, “always be aware that every choice you make has got its consequence,” she says, “I have had a share of my own disappointments from relationships since I joined college not only from men alone but from ladies too.” But she testifies to have learned a lot from an assortment of mistakes she has made. She has bounced back with a resolve to walk wisely: “Let us not bury our heads on the sand on realities as young people, here in college we envision it to be an arena of killing many birds with one stone acquiring professional fortress and matching out with a life time partner, unfortunately we end up crossing rivers without building bridges thus shuttering one’s dream.”
She is of the idea that schools and college students need to learn from the school of life as Wole Soyinka puts it, by admitting that they need guidance into opposite sex relationships: yes, some safe distance needs to be kept between college fiancées. She in agreement with her counseling professor that love is a principle that can not be based on mere fantasies, feelings and operating in the world of utopia thus every thread of it must be woven with patience, self control and utmost discipline.
Tyan is a male student who admits that relationships have in more than often landed him in hot water with his college administrators, parents and colleagues. He was almost expelled when one of his girl friend accused him to have impregnated her and abandoning her. The trust between his parents has been watered down from squandering school fees to maintain some of the relationship, which he admits: “my love was on a land slide, to hold it in place and affirm my commitment gifts and going out to have fan as my peers become handy this led me to spend school fees of almost two semester apart from conning some money from parents, relatives and friends.”
“Frustrations from unprincipled relationships spare no one his/her share of agony,” testifies Vhimy, “it’s just a mentality that its ladies who are victims of fluid relationships.” Vhimy says that this kind of mentality must be trounced since majority of his male colleagues are suffering silently. Both sexes need staying power via their studies as they are confronted with a matrix of issues to handle: so complex for their inexperienced mind. Some students say that having an opposite sex friend is expression of mutuality and self esteem. To others it’s a mean of seizing their freedom from loneliness, nurturing intimacy and an anchor to a prosperous family. Is it true?
“The society needs to come in terms that young people despite their educational attainment are going through an identify crisis of a huge proportion,” says Esther a University psychologist don, “what varies is the environment,” she pauses. She elaborates that so many parents tend to think that so long as one is excelling in academics he or she is capable of making mature and contextual decisions in regard to opposite sex relationship, thus withdrawing their wisdom when is most needed. Esther concurs with David sociology cum educationalist professor that, “one’s development can not be limited to academics (mental) world alone; there is the social, physical
and spiritual dimensions that must too be taken care of. This calls upon the parents, churches and the community to take there rightful position.” He warns that neglect to work as a system will worsen the phenomenon of moral decay amongst our young people.
One of the doctors from a research institute raises an alarm that the HIV/AIDS preference is growing among the age bracket of school via collage to university students: “unless they decidedly chose to change and refrain from sexual relationship doom is lingering.” He is worried that abortion and STDs victim are soaring in a very horrifying trend among these students than never witnessed before: “This is a clear indication that HIV/AIDS will be finding a fertile ground amongst the dream of our future,” he says.
The cause to affect principle is very live and vibrant in our institution of learning. From the frustrations, stress and rejections encountered by the students from wanting opposite sex relationship many of the students resort to destructive means of venting out their torrent experiences through drinking alcohol, taking drugs, smocking, yes, indulging in sexual relations, God forbid suicide. Without their realization and in no given time they become addicted to drugs and alcohol, find themselves in wrong footing with authority, and give up with their once lofty dreams in academics and life.
One of the local public university administrators feels that with this horrific trend at hand they are faced with a dilemma to play the game in a usual style. “This trend might force us to come up with more strict rules to redeem the future generation and the much needed human resource to lubricate and salvage our country from the mire of underdevelopment and poverty.” Their lamentation calls for the victims to come to their senses and espouse the concept that true freedom must have limits.
One of the local Vice Chancellor in our private university is plaintive that they are witnessing a trend they have never experience before where ladies, after going out return staggering from being drunk. “We can’t continues this way,” he said in his address to students, “if you’ve any sort of problem come forward for assistance,” he encouraged the student body, but he went on to give astern warning – “if you’re caught the policy will take its own course.” Using the American – elect president –Barrack Obama - campaign slogan he stirred them into: “Yes We Can” in optimism and encouragement that student challenges can be overcome at individuals level and as institutions of learning whatever they are. He encouraged the students to seek God
intervention in their impossible to overcome: “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
But all is not lost as world over is a fill of successful families that were sired by partners who met in institutions of learning.
No comments:
Post a Comment