HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN STUDENTS, TEACHERS AND PARENTS IMPORTANT

I vividly remember the morning I had a chart with the late Dr. Geoffrey Griffins of Starehe Boys Center . A student showed up at the door, “come in” he called him. The boy explained of the financial documents that needed to be photocopied before handing them to the accounting office. “I’ll do it for you-go to class,” Dr. Griffins assured him with a fatherly treatment.



The boy’s face was full of smiles, beaming with confidence. “Thank you sir,” the boy acknowledged as he dashed to class.



This account and the many I witnessed during my visits to the centre, and those narrated by his students such as,sharing a cup of tea with every Form One studentin his house, knowing their names,listening to their aspiration, understanding their socio-economic background; made me acknowledge one of the ingredient that has been the secret of the school is excellent performance.


This caring treatment of the students, called “milk of human kindness” by Shakespeare - is neglected in most institution of learning. Over discipline, canning and forced-handwork, which seem to be the end in themselves.


Relationship between students, teachers and parents can build or destroy a student's aspiration towards learning (and schooling).


Most parents have a habit of criticizing teachers of their students in their presence: Hence planting seeds of mistrust that proves so difficult to uproot over the years.


“From the mad slinger picture in the young mind it’s very difficult for the learner to take the teacher’s instruction and counsel as authoritative and reliable,” says an education officer.


Regratably the teacher’s professionalism drowns into the personality the student has assumed him or her to be.


“This issue isn’t whether the teacher is right or wrong – rather the criticisms are so abstract for the young mind to make a reasonable judgment from it. It needs to be done at the right place with responsible and concerned parties,” adds the educationalist.


Robert Frost wrote in one of his poem: “Boundaries make good neighborhood.” The role of the student, the teacher and the parent should be well demarcated. Yes, there should be no exchange of such roles.


Parents should take their calling to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Solomon the wise man said.


But parent seem to havev handed their role to teachers.“Mr. Principal we’re ready to foot the bill to ensure that our children will be in school during the weekends and holidays. We cannot manage them at home. They’re stretching our patience to the limit. Please help us for them to succeed.” One parent pleaded during a PTA meeting.


Indeed parenting is so difficult in such a “perilous time” of ours. Indeed children (students)are to “disobedient to parents, unthankful, without natural affection, truce breakers, fierce, and despisers of those that are good.”


But they should not give up with their parental counseling, prayers, lifting them to the higher ground: Encouraging them through their studies; investing their parental love in them.


Teachers too should should muster their patience from flooring students with labels and names notwithstanding their performance and behaviour.


Research has sown that people tend to become what they are labeled or named. “They don’t try, because they already heard us tell them they can’t succeed,” Michelle Obama put it in TIME magazine-interview.


Yes,great teachers always have the end of the students in their mind. What they will be once gloomed, as opposed from what they are and their present performance.


Research too has proved that children who are brought up in the environment of fear bank hatred, a streak of revenge, and get provoked at a smallest trigger. Yes, stress and rudeness are their companions. But loving them albeit who they are is a catalyst towards their transformation – and a new beginning.


“I won’t have finished school were it not the gift of teachers who took pain to understand my strengths from my obvious weakness. School was such a boring thing – I always felt better, even, to be expelled than to continue enduring in school. But my teachers put up with me: had confidence that I will do better - they befriended me… I started feeling the warmth of being in school. Working hard and being focused become my new attitude,” says an Engineering student in one of our local University.


But not all students have been or are gifted with such teachers. “I cannot be able to sit in class and take lessons anymore…I’m stressed from the lack of understanding…dropping from collage might be an option,” said a young lady who was at the verge of dropping college after her relationship with instructors had gone sour.


Physiologists have proved the dangling carrot means of motivating students is very effective. Learners are lifted to behold the prize to be sized at the end of their struggle. As a result they work as a team with their teachers and parents to a chive set goals and to live to the mission of the school.


“Students who are humble to take instructions, managing their time well, doing their best in class participation and doing their home work, are inquisitive… motivate one to sacrifice to offer the best. Such students catapult you to go an extra mile,” remarks Mr. Vincent Orucho a secondary school teacher at Riyabe.


Symptoms of sour relationship in our institution of learning are rampant: Poor performance and breaking school rules, taking alcohol and drugs and practicing premarital sex.Pleasure (discos, watching movies, phonography) replaces what they are supposed to do in school and at home.


Healthy relationship in any contextual community is nurtured by those leading, being role models: The habit of preaching water while taking wine is yeast towards never achieving meaningful results in our schools.


Often news breed anguish with terrifying byline that read: A teacher impregnated a STD…A teacher eloped with a student… A father raped his daughter… A father sired…with his daughter… Alarmingly all the cases involved are school going students.


Young people find themselves in an ironical and paradoxical world to make a meaningful choice. As Gandhi would have said, “It’s not what we want our young people to be but what we’re that matters most.”